"On one hand it was a lot easier to handle this emotional bullshit when I was a Ravager. Not all Ravagers were like us, but 'cause I had to keep up this whole with my crew... somethin', we didn't have to talk about it. It was just bein' soft, bein' simple to take down. An' I know it didn't feel good, but now I don't know what I gotta do an' there's gonna be a whole lotta people this place messed up when we get back."
They will get back.
And he knows he's not equipped to deal with it. He knows he's one of the people this place has messed up, he's just compartmentalized it to deal with later. This time more successfully than before, after that goddamn maze.
But he'd never heard that's what happened to Wuxian. That they'd died before the admission. Almost as bad as sputtering it out as last words. "Not lucky enough. You been a good guy. You deserve better luck."
WangJi nodded his head. "Perhaps it will be best to arrange a team meeting where we can talk about this mission, since this one will likely be emotionally hard for everyone."
He believes that they will as well.
"No, not lucky enough. It would have been nicer to never lose him. But I have him now. And you deserve luck as well."
"Yeah.... We make it outa here, how about I talk to Sanzo about it. He's a priest. Should be able to help." Better than an emotionally inept slog like Yondu could. "I know he sticks with Devero a lot, but he's got the religious trainin' to do the comfort thing."
He leans forward like there's a whole weight pulling him down.
"Nah, I don't really." He shakes his head. "Doesn't mean I don't want it, but I don't deserve it, an' I think I resigned myself to not getting it."
He nodded his head. "Yes, he should be able to assist many of our team. I do not wish to burden him, but perhaps he can assist with what issues this place has brought up."
"I see. I still hope that you get it at some point."
Whether he felt he deserved it or not, WangJi thought that he did.
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They will get back.
And he knows he's not equipped to deal with it. He knows he's one of the people this place has messed up, he's just compartmentalized it to deal with later. This time more successfully than before, after that goddamn maze.
But he'd never heard that's what happened to Wuxian. That they'd died before the admission. Almost as bad as sputtering it out as last words. "Not lucky enough. You been a good guy. You deserve better luck."
no subject
He believes that they will as well.
"No, not lucky enough. It would have been nicer to never lose him. But I have him now. And you deserve luck as well."
no subject
He leans forward like there's a whole weight pulling him down.
"Nah, I don't really." He shakes his head. "Doesn't mean I don't want it, but I don't deserve it, an' I think I resigned myself to not getting it."
no subject
"I see. I still hope that you get it at some point."
Whether he felt he deserved it or not, WangJi thought that he did.