Those... are some very good points that Vegeta hadn't considered in trying to pick. If he went back to that moment in battle, what would happen? It's not just his mind which has changed, but also his body. He had an entire new form! Would it throw them out of fusion? And if so, was he now strong enough to deal with Broly himself? He's not sure, he really hasn't had a chance to let loose with it and see how it handled. It was just as risky as gambling on if he was alive at the 'current' time.
Vegeta listens silently as Yondu continues, turning this all over in his head. Really, it only pushes him further into accepting the risk of returning to 'now' versus the past. He could cost them the fight, and he knows despite actions in the past that Whis would not step in and save them, nor Beerus. It was not their purpose, they weren't supposed to interfere.
"That only strengthens my choice to risk going back to the now. Unless you have another suggestion." Though to make sure it's very clear, "I won't stay here." He can't, he has to go back.
"I ain't tryin' to talk ya out of it. I know I couldn't convince you. If it was one of my people at stake, I wouldn't be convinced either. But the only way you could go back and not throw a wrench into that fight is if ya had someone put a lock on your head. If you forget ever'thin'."
He hates it. Hates the words. Hates thinking about it. "There's folks who can do that. Lock away all them memories until... I dunno. Best you could do is ask someone to trigger everything to come back."
But then, what good would remembering do? It's... cruelly, he almost doesn't want to matter if he's remembered. He hates that it's so damn easy to get rid of him. (He can't convince himself that it's not easy for Vegeta.)
...ah. He sees now what Yondu means. "So I would be locking out both Void travel as well as all which had happened here." That...
That was an option. One Vegeta hated. To lose this all. Sure, some of it he down right hated, here and Verens, but... it was part of him. It was his struggles, his determination, it had made him into who he was now.
But was it the smarter choice?
Then asking, "If there was a chance in your world, you were alive, somewhere," Vegeta knows it's not, Yondu had confirmed that, but a 'what if' situation, "But you weren't sure, and you had your boy waiting for you to wake up... would you risk it?" ...because that's what might be waiting for him. If their world was there and fine, that's what would be happening. He can't imagining not coming back to Bulma and the kids, to leave them waiting for him to wake up, only... for him not to. Ever.
"I dunno. I don't think my boy wants me back that much. And I won my battle. If the universe was still at risk? Yeah, I'd go back."
So he gets it, he does.
"Then again, I try too hard to find loopholes sometimes. Led to my biggest regret. Try to get the best of ever'thin'."
Yondu stands up, cracking his knuckles and starting to pace in the way a guy does when he's suddenly full of unsettled energy. Just slow enough to let it radiate without it building up. "Fact is I give a damn about ya, as much as I did the other captains way back when, and I don't wanna see ya dyin'. I know I cain't talk you out of goin' back, or trustin' that there'd be people to cover the damage of you havin' missed time. But I can say I don't want you to go just to end up kickin' the bucket. Been a long time since I had friends as tight as you."
Vegeta would point out that he and Trunks hadn't had the best of relationships when he had arrived here, that Trunks had known him only as an angry, but cold man who wanted nothing to do with him, that it had taken time to change it... but Yondu didn't have that chance, not with being dead. All the hypothetical questions wouldn't change that.
His own way of dealing with such energy is quite the opposite of Yondu's, a stillness which came with Vegeta crossing his arms and head slightly tilted down, eyes closed as he listened. And... eh, it was difficult to hear, even after so many years of learning to accept such emotions and attempts to express them. It was still difficult. So Vegeta won't taunt Yondu for being able to say it, even if part of him wants to to try and deflect whatever emotion he was feeling from hearing it. Instead, "If there's a chance for me to fight, to find a way to survive despite the odds, I will take it." Even if... even if everything else is gone. Not just from Yondu's words, but because he knows Bulma wouldn't want him to just give up. When he had killed himself the last time it hadn't been out of a need to leave their world, only to protect it.
Plus he's a Saiyan, he won't just give into the self pity of it all. He's supposed to die in battle. Somewhere, somehow. If he's to go out, he wants it to be in a moment of glory, to had given it his all and knowing he did everything he could.
I'm gonna pretend that Yondu's not mentioned the depths of it before.
"Good. Right. That's... I reckon that's the most I can hope for." And that's when he does it. He finally looks at him from where he's standing.
It doesn't last all that long, but he does look.
"I know you told me Freeza had ya doin' some messed up stuff but uh..." He sighs, shoulders heaving, accepting. If any time was right, now was it. "I told ya that my boy was the son of somethin' great, something that gave him power right in the core of him that I reckon he could tap into again."
Yondu goes to sit again, slouching down the wall onto the bench.
"Middle part of the story is... Ego. That father? He hired me to go find his kids. I didn't know.... what it was he intended to do. I thought I was just bringin' him his heirs, you know. Didn't look all that into it. All the information was legit. Their mamas remembered 'im much of the time. All of 'em thought they're wonderful daddy come to take 'em to his home in the stars."
And Yondu looks heartbroken, just thinking about it. "He killed 'em. I didn't know what he was doin'. Not 'til I picked up Peter. And then I couldn't just give 'im to the bastard. So I just ran. Made up excuses to keep 'im around to the crew. Made up stupid lies as to why he shouldn't get too comfortable with the crew. About why I needed 'im."
He huffs and rubs an ache out of his eye with the heel of his hand. "My last moments before I ended up on the train, I spent 'em makin' it right with the few breaths I had left in me." He'd seen how Ego had left Peter. Broken, rejected, aching. So Yondu had spent his last few words doing what his own parents never did. Let him know that he was wanted, that he wasn't a disappointment, and he was deserving of kindness even if Yondu had failed at that. At least that's how he saw it.
"I'm tellin' ya 'cause I probably ain't gonna get another opportunity, and I trust ya enough to know that." And because Vegeta isn't the worst person in the world. Far from it.
Vegeta stays silent as Yondu speaks, letting him get it all out without interruption. He understands how difficult it was to talk about such stuff, how much trust it took in the other person to even think of doing so. So he listens. And... understands that guilt. Of past actions that even current ones can not undo. And the fact that Yondu hadn't been given a second chance like Vegeta had here, a chance to try and change some of the damage he had done to his son.
What he can add though, "They flew the colors for you. You clearly did right by them in the end." Because Vegeta knew how happy Yondu had been after learning that. That he hadn't been forgotten and left behind. Even if he wasn't there in his world and couldn't be again, he was still remembered. You don't give honors to those who mean nothing to you.
Then a huff of a sigh out. "If there was a way to have contact immediately..." It would be good, wouldn't it? But not happening.
There had been a difference between the violence that Yondu was raised around, the killing machine the Kree made him, and what he did. He knew that now. He'd feared becoming a slave again so much that he hadn't cared about avoiding it again.
"Yeah.... yeah I heard Stakar talkin' about me. He cared again. Talked about me in holovids like I was somethin' good but... Yeah, this ain't about that. Most of the people here, if they knew I'd sold people for any reason, especially kids, they'd have taken it outa my hide. But I'm givin' it to you 'cause you still see shades of gray."
He huffs, crosses his arms, and looks tired.
"Never thought I'd have a group like them again, but you, Soldat, Crowley, Koumyou, Bulma..." They made him feel it again. And goddamn did it hurt that he couldn't be there for him. This was it. He had his little group of hardass parents.
... "You just have to find the right people who will accept it. And who push you to be better." Like Vegeta had managed to find. Despite all he had done to them, or had wanted to do. Despite all he had done to others. For what his people had done to their universe. It didn't undo what he had done in the past, but they all pushed him to want to be better.
"And if you can't get it back in your world, you have a chance to here." A pause, a long pause, he silently struggling with his next words, both not wanting to come out and say them, and realizing how important they were. Did he really have to say it? Couldn't Yondu just know and assume it? ...ughhh, "I don't care what you've done in the past." There, that's the closest he's going to get with that. It's as far as Vegeta can take it.
But also refusing to look in Yondu's direction even after getting it out.
Instead, "Just hurry up and get this whole transport thing working like you talked about in the past. Don't mess around and waste time." Aka, you better show up some time soon in his universe, Yondu.
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Vegeta listens silently as Yondu continues, turning this all over in his head. Really, it only pushes him further into accepting the risk of returning to 'now' versus the past. He could cost them the fight, and he knows despite actions in the past that Whis would not step in and save them, nor Beerus. It was not their purpose, they weren't supposed to interfere.
"That only strengthens my choice to risk going back to the now. Unless you have another suggestion." Though to make sure it's very clear, "I won't stay here." He can't, he has to go back.
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He hates it. Hates the words. Hates thinking about it. "There's folks who can do that. Lock away all them memories until... I dunno. Best you could do is ask someone to trigger everything to come back."
But then, what good would remembering do? It's... cruelly, he almost doesn't want to matter if he's remembered. He hates that it's so damn easy to get rid of him. (He can't convince himself that it's not easy for Vegeta.)
Yondu's still refusing to look at him.
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That was an option. One Vegeta hated. To lose this all. Sure, some of it he down right hated, here and Verens, but... it was part of him. It was his struggles, his determination, it had made him into who he was now.
But was it the smarter choice?
Then asking, "If there was a chance in your world, you were alive, somewhere," Vegeta knows it's not, Yondu had confirmed that, but a 'what if' situation, "But you weren't sure, and you had your boy waiting for you to wake up... would you risk it?" ...because that's what might be waiting for him. If their world was there and fine, that's what would be happening. He can't imagining not coming back to Bulma and the kids, to leave them waiting for him to wake up, only... for him not to. Ever.
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So he gets it, he does.
"Then again, I try too hard to find loopholes sometimes. Led to my biggest regret. Try to get the best of ever'thin'."
Yondu stands up, cracking his knuckles and starting to pace in the way a guy does when he's suddenly full of unsettled energy. Just slow enough to let it radiate without it building up. "Fact is I give a damn about ya, as much as I did the other captains way back when, and I don't wanna see ya dyin'. I know I cain't talk you out of goin' back, or trustin' that there'd be people to cover the damage of you havin' missed time. But I can say I don't want you to go just to end up kickin' the bucket. Been a long time since I had friends as tight as you."
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His own way of dealing with such energy is quite the opposite of Yondu's, a stillness which came with Vegeta crossing his arms and head slightly tilted down, eyes closed as he listened. And... eh, it was difficult to hear, even after so many years of learning to accept such emotions and attempts to express them. It was still difficult. So Vegeta won't taunt Yondu for being able to say it, even if part of him wants to to try and deflect whatever emotion he was feeling from hearing it. Instead, "If there's a chance for me to fight, to find a way to survive despite the odds, I will take it." Even if... even if everything else is gone. Not just from Yondu's words, but because he knows Bulma wouldn't want him to just give up. When he had killed himself the last time it hadn't been out of a need to leave their world, only to protect it.
Plus he's a Saiyan, he won't just give into the self pity of it all. He's supposed to die in battle. Somewhere, somehow. If he's to go out, he wants it to be in a moment of glory, to had given it his all and knowing he did everything he could.
I'm gonna pretend that Yondu's not mentioned the depths of it before.
It doesn't last all that long, but he does look.
"I know you told me Freeza had ya doin' some messed up stuff but uh..." He sighs, shoulders heaving, accepting. If any time was right, now was it. "I told ya that my boy was the son of somethin' great, something that gave him power right in the core of him that I reckon he could tap into again."
Yondu goes to sit again, slouching down the wall onto the bench.
"Middle part of the story is... Ego. That father? He hired me to go find his kids. I didn't know.... what it was he intended to do. I thought I was just bringin' him his heirs, you know. Didn't look all that into it. All the information was legit. Their mamas remembered 'im much of the time. All of 'em thought they're wonderful daddy come to take 'em to his home in the stars."
And Yondu looks heartbroken, just thinking about it. "He killed 'em. I didn't know what he was doin'. Not 'til I picked up Peter. And then I couldn't just give 'im to the bastard. So I just ran. Made up excuses to keep 'im around to the crew. Made up stupid lies as to why he shouldn't get too comfortable with the crew. About why I needed 'im."
He huffs and rubs an ache out of his eye with the heel of his hand. "My last moments before I ended up on the train, I spent 'em makin' it right with the few breaths I had left in me." He'd seen how Ego had left Peter. Broken, rejected, aching. So Yondu had spent his last few words doing what his own parents never did. Let him know that he was wanted, that he wasn't a disappointment, and he was deserving of kindness even if Yondu had failed at that. At least that's how he saw it.
"I'm tellin' ya 'cause I probably ain't gonna get another opportunity, and I trust ya enough to know that." And because Vegeta isn't the worst person in the world. Far from it.
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What he can add though, "They flew the colors for you. You clearly did right by them in the end." Because Vegeta knew how happy Yondu had been after learning that. That he hadn't been forgotten and left behind. Even if he wasn't there in his world and couldn't be again, he was still remembered. You don't give honors to those who mean nothing to you.
Then a huff of a sigh out. "If there was a way to have contact immediately..." It would be good, wouldn't it? But not happening.
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"Yeah.... yeah I heard Stakar talkin' about me. He cared again. Talked about me in holovids like I was somethin' good but... Yeah, this ain't about that. Most of the people here, if they knew I'd sold people for any reason, especially kids, they'd have taken it outa my hide. But I'm givin' it to you 'cause you still see shades of gray."
He huffs, crosses his arms, and looks tired.
"Never thought I'd have a group like them again, but you, Soldat, Crowley, Koumyou, Bulma..." They made him feel it again. And goddamn did it hurt that he couldn't be there for him. This was it. He had his little group of hardass parents.
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"And if you can't get it back in your world, you have a chance to here." A pause, a long pause, he silently struggling with his next words, both not wanting to come out and say them, and realizing how important they were. Did he really have to say it? Couldn't Yondu just know and assume it? ...ughhh, "I don't care what you've done in the past." There, that's the closest he's going to get with that. It's as far as Vegeta can take it.
But also refusing to look in Yondu's direction even after getting it out.
Instead, "Just hurry up and get this whole transport thing working like you talked about in the past. Don't mess around and waste time." Aka, you better show up some time soon in his universe, Yondu.