It... was going to be difficult. And in a sense Vegeta is trying not to think too much about the fact he will be leaving those he had become close to here, or those who could go back to their own worlds. Maybe because he's well used to loss. And the knowledge they were going to still be alive out there somewhere, even if he may never see them again, was enough for him.
Which comes to his own predicament... he's not sure if he is alive back in his world. At least not from the time he was taken from. And that wasn't by the train, that had been by the gods of Verens before this all. He can't tell Bulma this, he knows how she would react... but, well, he would like someone to know. This may be the last thing he does, after all.
Vegeta nods his head down the cabin, "Lets go to one of the quiet booths." He doesn't want this overheard.
"Alright." Still concerning. Maybe even more concerning. The arrow conversation hadn't needed a quiet booth, and considering what pressure they were now under- it was probably gonna be a doozy.
Funny how facing world destroying creatures and the possibility of death was somehow easier than choosing what kind of life you might want. He gets up to follow after Vegeta. Really wishes that he had some whiskey but he figures he'll worry about that later.
Honestly, Vegeta may not mind a beer or something after this. He's not a heavy drinker by any means, but sometimes it just helps deal with stuff.
He waits until they are both within one of those booths, the door closed, and them seated before he starts, "Don't tell Bulma any of this," Which is yet another warning sign of what this all may be about. "I don't want her to know. I know how she would react to this all." And that he would have to say goodbye to her when the time comes, knowing he may never see her again. Even if he's dead, there was an afterlife in his universe. But Vegeta knows where he will be going; Hell. After all he's done, he knows that is where he will end up.
Also, he's not the subtle type, so right out with it, "The time I was taken from on my Earth I was in mid battle against an opponent that we couldn't stop. Kakarot and I performed a move called fusion to stop him, but I was taken from that technique midway through it." A pause. "I don't know if I have a world, let alone a body, to go back to."
"So they already confirmed they'll send ya back to your world, not the one you and Bulma was originally swept in from?" Cause he remembers that they were dragged in from somewhere else other than their native sphere of existance. But, that's not the point is it. This is something that Vegeta's never told him.
That, if things went wrong? Maybe he was dead too.
The more comical part of his brain notes being ripped out of some shared moment like that (he assumes that's what it is) would be about as awkward as being ripped off the toilet mid relief.
"So your choice is... you probably gotta go back to that fight, to that exact instant, if you wanna live at all." And Yondu sits down then, dropping his weight onto one of the benches with his forearms resting across his knees in a hunch. Right. "And then they'd cut ya off." He smears his hand down his mouth and chin-scruff as he thinks.
"No, but it doesn't matter, we would still risk it." Because they had both been away from home for too long. Been away from their kids for too long. All their friends and family. They had to try, even if there was no sure answer they would return to Earth. Then a huff out, "Even if we do, I'm confident Bulma would find a way to make something to get us back. She's stubborn enough to force her way back somehow." No one can tell Bulma Briefs what she can or cannot do.
That was a choice, however, "I'm going to risk it and head back." It seems like a stupid thing to do, to gamble that there was a body, and Earth, to go back to. But he has to. "Even if I go back to the time I left, that means there is still a world out there that may had survived that I don't go back to." And that... that idea hurts worse than dying. To just vanish and never come back, when it had been his choice to risk it.
If he remembers correctly, Trunks came from an earlier point. So he can't go to him for questions.... God, what the hell? He hates thinkin' about it. Workin' this shit out has been the worst part of makin' friends here.
This is the second worse part.
"Yeah... I don't reckon I could go back to a world where my boy was dead." That much makes sense. But now he's staring at his hands, examining thick blue nails as he heaves a sigh. It makes him feel a little sick. Both thinking about Peter, what could have happened to him, and... this.
This makes him sick.
"It means that you cut off all your other options, too. Some train comin' and savin' y'all in the future. Anyone you earnt that gives a damn about you." Anyone like him. "I know Bulma's real sure she could sternly talk the rain into goin' home to a cloud but you'd be limitin' your options. They're gonna be lockin' the door from the outside."
And all through this, as his thinking, he's not looking at Vegeta. His focus is staying on those gnarled blue knuckles of his. "At least do me the favor of confirmin' you can go back to- whatever weird thing you and Goku was doin'. Ask 'em. There's still time. Don't throw away half your future resources without knowin'..."
There's something that he wants to add, but he doesn't want to add it. And he's working his jaw a little in an effort to either say it or not say it, whatever that thing might be. He's toiling with words.
Trunks had made it clear he didn't want to know what his future held, even if Vegeta knew it well. He knows what Trunks will go through, how much he will suffer, but also knows he can't stop it. His son had made a choice, and Vegeta would stand by his right to do so.
And Vegeta wouldn't put this on him either. Trunks has a lot to face if he was heading back. He didn't need this on top of it.
He however huffs again, but there is a level of amusement to it. "You have no clue what my universe is like, let alone when we've met up with others." The enemy they had just faced came close to what they deal with, it had hit hard and taken a lot of hits, but had been slow and not instantly so destructive it could wipe them out in one shot. That was standard for most enemies in Vegeta's universe. And the idea of Voiders traveling around a universe where Freeza was still free and carrying out his plans to conquer it... they would all be in danger if they ran into him.
Vegeta struggles himself to talk, he also unwilling to face Yondu as he says this, head turned to the side and arms crossed, as if he was angry at this all. "I don't care about cutting the void off as long as I know you all are safe here." It comes out harsher than intended, but Vegeta's also never been one good at expressing himself. It wasn't that he didn't want to see them again, just that he was content in knowing they were out there somewhere and safe. After all, how many times has he had to let go of others in the past? How much had he wanted Trunks to stay with them, but refused to force him to do so. It wasn't right. Even if it led to his death, it was his choice.
He gives a shake of his head, "Even if I confirm it, it won't change matters. Either I go back to the time I left, back into battle, and we win, but I know there was a world where I chose not to return to. Or I risk going back and I'm dead and in Hell. The former means it's certain I am abandoning my family, the latter is there is a chance I am."
Just gonna go with the idea the Ogords could do it in his timeline
Goddamn this is hard. "We ain't gonna be safe. You seen how this works. And we don't know that all of 'em are gonna get cut off- but... I get it. Kraglin never did. He never got that he was just a friend. Peter? Peter was family. I'd always favor him. I know what I am. I know what a bunch of us are."
And he leans his head back. Still doesn't look at Vegeta. Rubs his eyes, even. "Fusions I reckon take a lotta concentrating? A lotta coordination?" From the ones he'd seen in his universe, that's his takeaway.
Again, he leans forward. Rubs the back of his neck like he's trying to squeeze the anxiety out of his own muscles. The dread building up in a sentiment he doesn't want to give. "If it gives ya a chance to put your head back in it... Then... hell. ..God fuckin' dammit."
He holds up a finger. Give him a second. This is work he's doing here. Emotional labor of the like he doesn't wanna face. "Then ask 'em if you can forget. It won't matter if you remember anyway."
Yes it would. It would matter to him. It'd tear him up. But it'd tear him up more if this idiot chose death out of some sense of honor.
"True." Fine, he'll give him that. But also, "I believe all of you who are staying behind can handle it." They have so far. He also thinks Yondu is far more capable than he's really had a chance to show it so far.
A sigh with the talk of fusion. "This form of fusion technique requires a," He doesn't want to say it... "A dance to activate it, for us to perfectly mirror each other. But once it's done... it's both of us, but also we're one being. Everything about us are merged to create a new person who has all the strengths of both of us." And Vegeta hated it. He hated it so much. To lose your self into another being, to not be an individual anymore. It merged them perfectly, mind and body, mixing everything together. But it was a weapon that was more important than his ego, than his pride. It was needed to save what was important to both of them. "Once we're fused though it's not difficult to use, however we have a time limit. We had been struggling against this Saiyan as ourselves, but fused... we were playing with him. The difference was just too great." And yes, they should had ended it sooner, but it had felt really good to be in such a great fight, to be pushed and challenged. Short of taking on Beerus what were the chances they as Gogeta were going to get another chance to have fun like that?
Vegeta finally looks back as Yondu struggles, a brow going up as he forced his way through it and finally got those words out. "What do you mean?" Just what are you getting at, Yondu?
Yondu thinks he gets it, and blessedly doesn't comment on having to dance to activate it 'cause... He'd straight up just never do it if it was him. Has the passing thought that probably Peter would have loved doing something like that with someone, just for the dancing part.
He doesn't dwell for too long. That ain't the important part.
"I mean... I don't want your stubborn ass goin' back just in a fit of some kinda valor to die 'cause you cain't handle the alternatives. That's a waste. If you go back, I want you to stand a chance of walkin' away, of tearin' shit up. So the question is, if you go back, and y'all are still together and you unload a bunch of new shit in your dance partner's head, will he be able to handle it?
"I mean, I met the guy and you right that he only got the one brain cell to do the heavy liftin'. And I know you- he might be able to keep ya on topic, but you'd be goin' back with your mega-ape stuff still in your head."
He'll let Vegeta work out the rest of what he means. Would being without them, without him, without this whole experience of saving worlds? Would it also be able to- well.... Yondu doesn't give a shit about saving the world. He wants to save his friend. If he can't have him, at least he wants him alive.
Those... are some very good points that Vegeta hadn't considered in trying to pick. If he went back to that moment in battle, what would happen? It's not just his mind which has changed, but also his body. He had an entire new form! Would it throw them out of fusion? And if so, was he now strong enough to deal with Broly himself? He's not sure, he really hasn't had a chance to let loose with it and see how it handled. It was just as risky as gambling on if he was alive at the 'current' time.
Vegeta listens silently as Yondu continues, turning this all over in his head. Really, it only pushes him further into accepting the risk of returning to 'now' versus the past. He could cost them the fight, and he knows despite actions in the past that Whis would not step in and save them, nor Beerus. It was not their purpose, they weren't supposed to interfere.
"That only strengthens my choice to risk going back to the now. Unless you have another suggestion." Though to make sure it's very clear, "I won't stay here." He can't, he has to go back.
"I ain't tryin' to talk ya out of it. I know I couldn't convince you. If it was one of my people at stake, I wouldn't be convinced either. But the only way you could go back and not throw a wrench into that fight is if ya had someone put a lock on your head. If you forget ever'thin'."
He hates it. Hates the words. Hates thinking about it. "There's folks who can do that. Lock away all them memories until... I dunno. Best you could do is ask someone to trigger everything to come back."
But then, what good would remembering do? It's... cruelly, he almost doesn't want to matter if he's remembered. He hates that it's so damn easy to get rid of him. (He can't convince himself that it's not easy for Vegeta.)
...ah. He sees now what Yondu means. "So I would be locking out both Void travel as well as all which had happened here." That...
That was an option. One Vegeta hated. To lose this all. Sure, some of it he down right hated, here and Verens, but... it was part of him. It was his struggles, his determination, it had made him into who he was now.
But was it the smarter choice?
Then asking, "If there was a chance in your world, you were alive, somewhere," Vegeta knows it's not, Yondu had confirmed that, but a 'what if' situation, "But you weren't sure, and you had your boy waiting for you to wake up... would you risk it?" ...because that's what might be waiting for him. If their world was there and fine, that's what would be happening. He can't imagining not coming back to Bulma and the kids, to leave them waiting for him to wake up, only... for him not to. Ever.
"I dunno. I don't think my boy wants me back that much. And I won my battle. If the universe was still at risk? Yeah, I'd go back."
So he gets it, he does.
"Then again, I try too hard to find loopholes sometimes. Led to my biggest regret. Try to get the best of ever'thin'."
Yondu stands up, cracking his knuckles and starting to pace in the way a guy does when he's suddenly full of unsettled energy. Just slow enough to let it radiate without it building up. "Fact is I give a damn about ya, as much as I did the other captains way back when, and I don't wanna see ya dyin'. I know I cain't talk you out of goin' back, or trustin' that there'd be people to cover the damage of you havin' missed time. But I can say I don't want you to go just to end up kickin' the bucket. Been a long time since I had friends as tight as you."
Vegeta would point out that he and Trunks hadn't had the best of relationships when he had arrived here, that Trunks had known him only as an angry, but cold man who wanted nothing to do with him, that it had taken time to change it... but Yondu didn't have that chance, not with being dead. All the hypothetical questions wouldn't change that.
His own way of dealing with such energy is quite the opposite of Yondu's, a stillness which came with Vegeta crossing his arms and head slightly tilted down, eyes closed as he listened. And... eh, it was difficult to hear, even after so many years of learning to accept such emotions and attempts to express them. It was still difficult. So Vegeta won't taunt Yondu for being able to say it, even if part of him wants to to try and deflect whatever emotion he was feeling from hearing it. Instead, "If there's a chance for me to fight, to find a way to survive despite the odds, I will take it." Even if... even if everything else is gone. Not just from Yondu's words, but because he knows Bulma wouldn't want him to just give up. When he had killed himself the last time it hadn't been out of a need to leave their world, only to protect it.
Plus he's a Saiyan, he won't just give into the self pity of it all. He's supposed to die in battle. Somewhere, somehow. If he's to go out, he wants it to be in a moment of glory, to had given it his all and knowing he did everything he could.
I'm gonna pretend that Yondu's not mentioned the depths of it before.
"Good. Right. That's... I reckon that's the most I can hope for." And that's when he does it. He finally looks at him from where he's standing.
It doesn't last all that long, but he does look.
"I know you told me Freeza had ya doin' some messed up stuff but uh..." He sighs, shoulders heaving, accepting. If any time was right, now was it. "I told ya that my boy was the son of somethin' great, something that gave him power right in the core of him that I reckon he could tap into again."
Yondu goes to sit again, slouching down the wall onto the bench.
"Middle part of the story is... Ego. That father? He hired me to go find his kids. I didn't know.... what it was he intended to do. I thought I was just bringin' him his heirs, you know. Didn't look all that into it. All the information was legit. Their mamas remembered 'im much of the time. All of 'em thought they're wonderful daddy come to take 'em to his home in the stars."
And Yondu looks heartbroken, just thinking about it. "He killed 'em. I didn't know what he was doin'. Not 'til I picked up Peter. And then I couldn't just give 'im to the bastard. So I just ran. Made up excuses to keep 'im around to the crew. Made up stupid lies as to why he shouldn't get too comfortable with the crew. About why I needed 'im."
He huffs and rubs an ache out of his eye with the heel of his hand. "My last moments before I ended up on the train, I spent 'em makin' it right with the few breaths I had left in me." He'd seen how Ego had left Peter. Broken, rejected, aching. So Yondu had spent his last few words doing what his own parents never did. Let him know that he was wanted, that he wasn't a disappointment, and he was deserving of kindness even if Yondu had failed at that. At least that's how he saw it.
"I'm tellin' ya 'cause I probably ain't gonna get another opportunity, and I trust ya enough to know that." And because Vegeta isn't the worst person in the world. Far from it.
Vegeta stays silent as Yondu speaks, letting him get it all out without interruption. He understands how difficult it was to talk about such stuff, how much trust it took in the other person to even think of doing so. So he listens. And... understands that guilt. Of past actions that even current ones can not undo. And the fact that Yondu hadn't been given a second chance like Vegeta had here, a chance to try and change some of the damage he had done to his son.
What he can add though, "They flew the colors for you. You clearly did right by them in the end." Because Vegeta knew how happy Yondu had been after learning that. That he hadn't been forgotten and left behind. Even if he wasn't there in his world and couldn't be again, he was still remembered. You don't give honors to those who mean nothing to you.
Then a huff of a sigh out. "If there was a way to have contact immediately..." It would be good, wouldn't it? But not happening.
There had been a difference between the violence that Yondu was raised around, the killing machine the Kree made him, and what he did. He knew that now. He'd feared becoming a slave again so much that he hadn't cared about avoiding it again.
"Yeah.... yeah I heard Stakar talkin' about me. He cared again. Talked about me in holovids like I was somethin' good but... Yeah, this ain't about that. Most of the people here, if they knew I'd sold people for any reason, especially kids, they'd have taken it outa my hide. But I'm givin' it to you 'cause you still see shades of gray."
He huffs, crosses his arms, and looks tired.
"Never thought I'd have a group like them again, but you, Soldat, Crowley, Koumyou, Bulma..." They made him feel it again. And goddamn did it hurt that he couldn't be there for him. This was it. He had his little group of hardass parents.
... "You just have to find the right people who will accept it. And who push you to be better." Like Vegeta had managed to find. Despite all he had done to them, or had wanted to do. Despite all he had done to others. For what his people had done to their universe. It didn't undo what he had done in the past, but they all pushed him to want to be better.
"And if you can't get it back in your world, you have a chance to here." A pause, a long pause, he silently struggling with his next words, both not wanting to come out and say them, and realizing how important they were. Did he really have to say it? Couldn't Yondu just know and assume it? ...ughhh, "I don't care what you've done in the past." There, that's the closest he's going to get with that. It's as far as Vegeta can take it.
But also refusing to look in Yondu's direction even after getting it out.
Instead, "Just hurry up and get this whole transport thing working like you talked about in the past. Don't mess around and waste time." Aka, you better show up some time soon in his universe, Yondu.
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Which comes to his own predicament... he's not sure if he is alive back in his world. At least not from the time he was taken from. And that wasn't by the train, that had been by the gods of Verens before this all. He can't tell Bulma this, he knows how she would react... but, well, he would like someone to know. This may be the last thing he does, after all.
Vegeta nods his head down the cabin, "Lets go to one of the quiet booths." He doesn't want this overheard.
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Funny how facing world destroying creatures and the possibility of death was somehow easier than choosing what kind of life you might want. He gets up to follow after Vegeta. Really wishes that he had some whiskey but he figures he'll worry about that later.
He'll probably be needing it. He can tell.
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He waits until they are both within one of those booths, the door closed, and them seated before he starts, "Don't tell Bulma any of this," Which is yet another warning sign of what this all may be about. "I don't want her to know. I know how she would react to this all." And that he would have to say goodbye to her when the time comes, knowing he may never see her again. Even if he's dead, there was an afterlife in his universe. But Vegeta knows where he will be going; Hell. After all he's done, he knows that is where he will end up.
Also, he's not the subtle type, so right out with it, "The time I was taken from on my Earth I was in mid battle against an opponent that we couldn't stop. Kakarot and I performed a move called fusion to stop him, but I was taken from that technique midway through it." A pause. "I don't know if I have a world, let alone a body, to go back to."
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That, if things went wrong? Maybe he was dead too.
The more comical part of his brain notes being ripped out of some shared moment like that (he assumes that's what it is) would be about as awkward as being ripped off the toilet mid relief.
"So your choice is... you probably gotta go back to that fight, to that exact instant, if you wanna live at all." And Yondu sits down then, dropping his weight onto one of the benches with his forearms resting across his knees in a hunch. Right. "And then they'd cut ya off." He smears his hand down his mouth and chin-scruff as he thinks.
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That was a choice, however, "I'm going to risk it and head back." It seems like a stupid thing to do, to gamble that there was a body, and Earth, to go back to. But he has to. "Even if I go back to the time I left, that means there is still a world out there that may had survived that I don't go back to." And that... that idea hurts worse than dying. To just vanish and never come back, when it had been his choice to risk it.
He has to go with that option.
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This is the second worse part.
"Yeah... I don't reckon I could go back to a world where my boy was dead." That much makes sense. But now he's staring at his hands, examining thick blue nails as he heaves a sigh. It makes him feel a little sick. Both thinking about Peter, what could have happened to him, and... this.
This makes him sick.
"It means that you cut off all your other options, too. Some train comin' and savin' y'all in the future. Anyone you earnt that gives a damn about you." Anyone like him. "I know Bulma's real sure she could sternly talk the rain into goin' home to a cloud but you'd be limitin' your options. They're gonna be lockin' the door from the outside."
And all through this, as his thinking, he's not looking at Vegeta. His focus is staying on those gnarled blue knuckles of his. "At least do me the favor of confirmin' you can go back to- whatever weird thing you and Goku was doin'. Ask 'em. There's still time. Don't throw away half your future resources without knowin'..."
There's something that he wants to add, but he doesn't want to add it. And he's working his jaw a little in an effort to either say it or not say it, whatever that thing might be. He's toiling with words.
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And Vegeta wouldn't put this on him either. Trunks has a lot to face if he was heading back. He didn't need this on top of it.
He however huffs again, but there is a level of amusement to it. "You have no clue what my universe is like, let alone when we've met up with others." The enemy they had just faced came close to what they deal with, it had hit hard and taken a lot of hits, but had been slow and not instantly so destructive it could wipe them out in one shot. That was standard for most enemies in Vegeta's universe. And the idea of Voiders traveling around a universe where Freeza was still free and carrying out his plans to conquer it... they would all be in danger if they ran into him.
Vegeta struggles himself to talk, he also unwilling to face Yondu as he says this, head turned to the side and arms crossed, as if he was angry at this all. "I don't care about cutting the void off as long as I know you all are safe here." It comes out harsher than intended, but Vegeta's also never been one good at expressing himself. It wasn't that he didn't want to see them again, just that he was content in knowing they were out there somewhere and safe. After all, how many times has he had to let go of others in the past? How much had he wanted Trunks to stay with them, but refused to force him to do so. It wasn't right. Even if it led to his death, it was his choice.
He gives a shake of his head, "Even if I confirm it, it won't change matters. Either I go back to the time I left, back into battle, and we win, but I know there was a world where I chose not to return to. Or I risk going back and I'm dead and in Hell. The former means it's certain I am abandoning my family, the latter is there is a chance I am."
Just gonna go with the idea the Ogords could do it in his timeline
And he leans his head back. Still doesn't look at Vegeta. Rubs his eyes, even. "Fusions I reckon take a lotta concentrating? A lotta coordination?" From the ones he'd seen in his universe, that's his takeaway.
Again, he leans forward. Rubs the back of his neck like he's trying to squeeze the anxiety out of his own muscles. The dread building up in a sentiment he doesn't want to give. "If it gives ya a chance to put your head back in it... Then... hell. ..God fuckin' dammit."
He holds up a finger. Give him a second. This is work he's doing here. Emotional labor of the like he doesn't wanna face. "Then ask 'em if you can forget. It won't matter if you remember anyway."
Yes it would. It would matter to him. It'd tear him up. But it'd tear him up more if this idiot chose death out of some sense of honor.
all good by me!
A sigh with the talk of fusion. "This form of fusion technique requires a," He doesn't want to say it... "A dance to activate it, for us to perfectly mirror each other. But once it's done... it's both of us, but also we're one being. Everything about us are merged to create a new person who has all the strengths of both of us." And Vegeta hated it. He hated it so much. To lose your self into another being, to not be an individual anymore. It merged them perfectly, mind and body, mixing everything together. But it was a weapon that was more important than his ego, than his pride. It was needed to save what was important to both of them. "Once we're fused though it's not difficult to use, however we have a time limit. We had been struggling against this Saiyan as ourselves, but fused... we were playing with him. The difference was just too great." And yes, they should had ended it sooner, but it had felt really good to be in such a great fight, to be pushed and challenged. Short of taking on Beerus what were the chances they as Gogeta were going to get another chance to have fun like that?
Vegeta finally looks back as Yondu struggles, a brow going up as he forced his way through it and finally got those words out. "What do you mean?" Just what are you getting at, Yondu?
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He doesn't dwell for too long. That ain't the important part.
"I mean... I don't want your stubborn ass goin' back just in a fit of some kinda valor to die 'cause you cain't handle the alternatives. That's a waste. If you go back, I want you to stand a chance of walkin' away, of tearin' shit up. So the question is, if you go back, and y'all are still together and you unload a bunch of new shit in your dance partner's head, will he be able to handle it?
"I mean, I met the guy and you right that he only got the one brain cell to do the heavy liftin'. And I know you- he might be able to keep ya on topic, but you'd be goin' back with your mega-ape stuff still in your head."
He'll let Vegeta work out the rest of what he means. Would being without them, without him, without this whole experience of saving worlds? Would it also be able to- well.... Yondu doesn't give a shit about saving the world. He wants to save his friend. If he can't have him, at least he wants him alive.
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Vegeta listens silently as Yondu continues, turning this all over in his head. Really, it only pushes him further into accepting the risk of returning to 'now' versus the past. He could cost them the fight, and he knows despite actions in the past that Whis would not step in and save them, nor Beerus. It was not their purpose, they weren't supposed to interfere.
"That only strengthens my choice to risk going back to the now. Unless you have another suggestion." Though to make sure it's very clear, "I won't stay here." He can't, he has to go back.
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He hates it. Hates the words. Hates thinking about it. "There's folks who can do that. Lock away all them memories until... I dunno. Best you could do is ask someone to trigger everything to come back."
But then, what good would remembering do? It's... cruelly, he almost doesn't want to matter if he's remembered. He hates that it's so damn easy to get rid of him. (He can't convince himself that it's not easy for Vegeta.)
Yondu's still refusing to look at him.
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That was an option. One Vegeta hated. To lose this all. Sure, some of it he down right hated, here and Verens, but... it was part of him. It was his struggles, his determination, it had made him into who he was now.
But was it the smarter choice?
Then asking, "If there was a chance in your world, you were alive, somewhere," Vegeta knows it's not, Yondu had confirmed that, but a 'what if' situation, "But you weren't sure, and you had your boy waiting for you to wake up... would you risk it?" ...because that's what might be waiting for him. If their world was there and fine, that's what would be happening. He can't imagining not coming back to Bulma and the kids, to leave them waiting for him to wake up, only... for him not to. Ever.
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So he gets it, he does.
"Then again, I try too hard to find loopholes sometimes. Led to my biggest regret. Try to get the best of ever'thin'."
Yondu stands up, cracking his knuckles and starting to pace in the way a guy does when he's suddenly full of unsettled energy. Just slow enough to let it radiate without it building up. "Fact is I give a damn about ya, as much as I did the other captains way back when, and I don't wanna see ya dyin'. I know I cain't talk you out of goin' back, or trustin' that there'd be people to cover the damage of you havin' missed time. But I can say I don't want you to go just to end up kickin' the bucket. Been a long time since I had friends as tight as you."
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His own way of dealing with such energy is quite the opposite of Yondu's, a stillness which came with Vegeta crossing his arms and head slightly tilted down, eyes closed as he listened. And... eh, it was difficult to hear, even after so many years of learning to accept such emotions and attempts to express them. It was still difficult. So Vegeta won't taunt Yondu for being able to say it, even if part of him wants to to try and deflect whatever emotion he was feeling from hearing it. Instead, "If there's a chance for me to fight, to find a way to survive despite the odds, I will take it." Even if... even if everything else is gone. Not just from Yondu's words, but because he knows Bulma wouldn't want him to just give up. When he had killed himself the last time it hadn't been out of a need to leave their world, only to protect it.
Plus he's a Saiyan, he won't just give into the self pity of it all. He's supposed to die in battle. Somewhere, somehow. If he's to go out, he wants it to be in a moment of glory, to had given it his all and knowing he did everything he could.
I'm gonna pretend that Yondu's not mentioned the depths of it before.
It doesn't last all that long, but he does look.
"I know you told me Freeza had ya doin' some messed up stuff but uh..." He sighs, shoulders heaving, accepting. If any time was right, now was it. "I told ya that my boy was the son of somethin' great, something that gave him power right in the core of him that I reckon he could tap into again."
Yondu goes to sit again, slouching down the wall onto the bench.
"Middle part of the story is... Ego. That father? He hired me to go find his kids. I didn't know.... what it was he intended to do. I thought I was just bringin' him his heirs, you know. Didn't look all that into it. All the information was legit. Their mamas remembered 'im much of the time. All of 'em thought they're wonderful daddy come to take 'em to his home in the stars."
And Yondu looks heartbroken, just thinking about it. "He killed 'em. I didn't know what he was doin'. Not 'til I picked up Peter. And then I couldn't just give 'im to the bastard. So I just ran. Made up excuses to keep 'im around to the crew. Made up stupid lies as to why he shouldn't get too comfortable with the crew. About why I needed 'im."
He huffs and rubs an ache out of his eye with the heel of his hand. "My last moments before I ended up on the train, I spent 'em makin' it right with the few breaths I had left in me." He'd seen how Ego had left Peter. Broken, rejected, aching. So Yondu had spent his last few words doing what his own parents never did. Let him know that he was wanted, that he wasn't a disappointment, and he was deserving of kindness even if Yondu had failed at that. At least that's how he saw it.
"I'm tellin' ya 'cause I probably ain't gonna get another opportunity, and I trust ya enough to know that." And because Vegeta isn't the worst person in the world. Far from it.
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What he can add though, "They flew the colors for you. You clearly did right by them in the end." Because Vegeta knew how happy Yondu had been after learning that. That he hadn't been forgotten and left behind. Even if he wasn't there in his world and couldn't be again, he was still remembered. You don't give honors to those who mean nothing to you.
Then a huff of a sigh out. "If there was a way to have contact immediately..." It would be good, wouldn't it? But not happening.
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"Yeah.... yeah I heard Stakar talkin' about me. He cared again. Talked about me in holovids like I was somethin' good but... Yeah, this ain't about that. Most of the people here, if they knew I'd sold people for any reason, especially kids, they'd have taken it outa my hide. But I'm givin' it to you 'cause you still see shades of gray."
He huffs, crosses his arms, and looks tired.
"Never thought I'd have a group like them again, but you, Soldat, Crowley, Koumyou, Bulma..." They made him feel it again. And goddamn did it hurt that he couldn't be there for him. This was it. He had his little group of hardass parents.
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"And if you can't get it back in your world, you have a chance to here." A pause, a long pause, he silently struggling with his next words, both not wanting to come out and say them, and realizing how important they were. Did he really have to say it? Couldn't Yondu just know and assume it? ...ughhh, "I don't care what you've done in the past." There, that's the closest he's going to get with that. It's as far as Vegeta can take it.
But also refusing to look in Yondu's direction even after getting it out.
Instead, "Just hurry up and get this whole transport thing working like you talked about in the past. Don't mess around and waste time." Aka, you better show up some time soon in his universe, Yondu.